T Bradley

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“If you do everything I ask,” he said, “you’ll be able to do the things you love.”

He was my surgeon.

He was my surgeon, and I never dreamed all that he would ask of me. First, of course, THE SURGERY, then seemingly endless rounds of physical therapy  – in the water first, graduating to ground, then more work at home.

Harder yet were the things he asked me to REFRAIN from doing.
No running (my beloved early-morning greenbelt runs!)
No jumping or kicking (goodbye Body Combat!)
No weightlifting (What? No Body Pump?)

Honestly, he made a few requests that I couldn’t even understand

My surgeon asked me not to lift anything heavier than a CUP OF COFFEE for SIX MONTHS.

AND YET.

I did it all. I did everything he asked of me. No exceptions.
I even thanked him.
Even when it was hard, I did it. 
Even when I couldn’t see how I was EVER going to attain the desired end goal, I did it.

I did everything he asked of me because I trusted him. I’d done my research. He was the best, and he knew what he was doing. And when it was finished, I could do the things I love. I could run and jump and kick and lift. And hallelujah – no pain!

I’m thinking about all of this today, because I have to do it all over again. The same unlucky genetic roll of the dice that formed my left shoulder formed my right shoulder as well. What I have isn’t working. It has to be replaced with metal and plastic.

And as I’m sitting here reminding myself that if I do all T Bradley Edwards MD asks of me I will be able to do the things I love, a thought occurs to me.

You. Guys.

If you were privy to my inner world, you might conclude that I trust T Bradley Edwards more than I trust God.

I mean, Doesn’t God say to me, If you do the things I ask of you, you will be able to do the things you love.

WHY YES. YES HE DOES.

Do I do everything God asks me to do, no exceptions, just like I did for T Bradley Edwards?

WHY NO. NO I DO NOT.

AWKward

When T Bradley said,I can do this, but it will take some time,” I accepted it. I didn’t call him every day demanding to know why I wasn’t completely healed yet. I didn’t reproach him for “not understanding” how frustrated I was. I didn’t accuse him of not caring about me. And I didn’t quit on him. Yet I do all these things to God.

WHY? Why was it so easy for me to have faith in T Bradley? I had no real reason to believe he could take my pain away and restore my motion – nothing but words on paper claiming he was one of our nation’s top shoulder replacement surgeons.

Do I not have words on paper making wonderful claims about God? And even more, don’t I encounter God often and see His Good Work?

Why then, when I am in emotional pain, or struggling spiritually, why don’t I trust God like I do T Bradley Edwards?

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FAITH IN T BRADLEY EDWARDS AND FAITH IN GOD?

And the answer is…

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE.

It’s me, guys. It’s all me. 
It’s just a CHOICE.

I CHOSE to trust T Bradley Edwards.

<gulp>

And as for God?

<sigh>

You’re right. I need to make better choices. So here’s my new self-growth goal: Trust God AT LEAST AS MUCH as I trust T Bradley Edwards.

(Long-term Goal: MORE THAN )